Today is Wednesday, 19 March. I am sitting on the “supper porch” of Liberty Lodge, two portable heaters blowing, diet coke a short reach away, pen in hand. My husband, no fool, sits inside studying 1 Samuel. The 3 children here with us are all in various stages of waking(or not). The 2 children not with us are either on a mountain side in East Tennessee or on a mountain side 1400 miles away in Haiti. This week was supposed to have been our first whole family vacation, the eldest skipping a few days of university to celebrate the homecoming of the newest.
As is so often the case, our plans are not God’s plans. And so we wait. I could say we are waiting on the molasses thick and slow pace of paper work moving through the Haitian system, or, on the right email being sent by the right elected official to the right recipient in the American Embassy in Port au Prince. Or, that we are waiting on this maddening system in toto to finish a process we were told would be complete in “6 weeks!” 9 months ago. Each of those statements is fact. The TRUTH is that.we.are.waiting.on.God.
It occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that I am right smack dab up against a wall. A God-sized wall: impenetrable, unclimbable, un get-around-able God wall. I don’t mind telling you I was pretty angry about it (read: righteously pissed off). Then His Word came unbidden, ” Blessed are the poor in spirit. . .,” “He is close to the broken hearted . . .,” “hope does not disappoint us.” I realized that wall is not only Godsized; it is God-love, and if I would just LEAN IN and REST in His promises He would be faithful. Well, no. He’s going to be faithful. The choice to rail against or lean in was mine.
So I’m leaning. And I do have joy in hope today. As I look around my favorite house on my favorite island, I am boldly sitting at the foot of His throne, resting in His promises. She’ll be here with her forever family just exactly according to His pleasing and perfect will.